Ways to Validate Yourself: Be Part of Your Support System
Tough times don’t outlast tough people. There is always going to be a difficult situation in life. And during such times, you need the right support system to make it through. However, most people depend too much on external validation and support. And they sometimes forget that they have everything within themselves to stay strong. If you’re dealing with a tough time, here are ways to be part of your support system.
Tell Yourself What You Hope Others Would Say Before Their Seeking Validation
There are many reasons why people want the validation of others. It could be because they don’t have self-efficacy. Low self-esteem might also be another reason to seek validation. During such times, you may need to hear specific words from others. You need to know that what matters most is what you think and say to yourself. Therefore, say to yourself what you hope others will say when seeking validation.
Imagine Yourself as a Parent to Yourself as a Child
Too many people grow up without the love and support they need as kids. If you’re one of those people, you know what you needed to hear back then. Imagine saying everything you would have wanted your guardian to tell you as a child to yourself. It gives you that warm feeling inside that you longed for so much.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Gratitude is powerful. It’s even more powerful when you can thank yourself for the things you’ve done well. Most people only run the negative program, which involves a lot of self-loathing. But with a journal, you could include a section where you have yourself to thank for various things.
Don’t Judge Yourself Harshly for Feeling Bad
Too many people come down hard on themselves when they have a negative emotion. This often happens when you’ve lived in a toxic environment. When you’ve grown up with people telling you that your feelings don’t matter, this tends to be the case. Practice metacognition–a process where you think about your thoughts. That way, you can allow yourself to feel the right emotions. And after that, you can address the issues that need your attention.
It is true that human beings are social creatures, and we depend on others. But you must learn to be happy with yourself first. The world is sometimes cruel and all you will have is yourself. Self-love allows you to have a support system even when others don’t show up for you.